Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
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