i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
