forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Randomize
