Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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