I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
My vagina is officially offended.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
