so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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