I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
