I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Randomize
