got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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