Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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