I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
