Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
