Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
As shirtless as possible
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize