every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
You pole danced in your parka.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
