Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Randomize