Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
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