TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
