It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I want to fling myself into the sun
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
