We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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