I wish I could teleport
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
