summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize