from now on my penis is your penis
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I woke up under a house in Key West
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