$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Randomize
