thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
