I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Randomize
