Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
