it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
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