I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Randomize
