i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Why is your signature on my underwear?
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
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