My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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