laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
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