U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
it glows. i had to have it.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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