i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
