let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
