sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
