i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
It's shark week go big or go home
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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