I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize
