you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
