Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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