so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Text me some of your sweat
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