the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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