that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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