We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
