Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
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