I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
NoShamevember. You game?
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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