and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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