Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
