Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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