She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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