I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Randomize