This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Randomize
