Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I am available for nakedness
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
