Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
the day after is always just damage control
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Enjoy the penises
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
