Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
