Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Randomize
