my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
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