i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
