Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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