If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
