Where is the hickey?
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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