He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Randomize