All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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