We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Ketchup is God's man juice
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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