New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize