Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
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